I read a lot of different things and my mind collects all kinds of seemingly unrelated pieces of information. Every so often a collection of these snippets will seem to line up and I have an Aha! moment. I had one of those the other day and I suddenly realized that this country has crossed a tipping point. A down hill slope has been presented which I think will lead to men becoming marginalized in our society.
For most of recorded history men have held an advantage which has for the most part placed them in a position of being in charge, both in society and in the home. In the distant past most well paying jobs or traditional work required physical strength, which gave men (in general) an advantage. World War 2 started to break this barrier when “Rosie the riveter” and thousands of women went to work in factories and proved they could do jobs previously assumed to be “Men Only”. Women also discovered that they could maintain a home without a man around. Furthermore, with a large percentage of the men away to war, women began to discover that they could go by themselves or in a group of women and have fun, without needing a man along to “protect” them.
When the war ended and the men came home, most of these advances got reversed and things went back to “normal”. The men entrenched themselves as the leaders of society and the breadwinners. While, as previously, a few women broke barriers, they were the exception. The women’s movement in the 60s and 70s broke down a lot of those barriers and eventually women were accepted into the workforce on a sort of equal footing (except that it took until recently for pay to catch up). Still men held, for the most part, on to control of the best paying and executive jobs. They also used the “traditional” role as the main breadwinner to keep an increasingly tenuous control over society and the family.
As we moved into the 80s and 90s the”traditional” model of the man as the breadwinner and the woman as a stay at home mom eroded as most families economic situation required that 2 incomes were needed to maintain the “American Dream” and keep up with the Joneses. This has destroyed the notion that the wife is the nurturer and the husband the provider. Nurturing has to a large extent been outsourced to day care and the schools.
Unfortunately, many of the relatively high paying and traditionally male orientated jobs were in manufacturing. Those jobs were disappearing due to off-shoring and automation. But still we men went along relying on traditional roles to maintain our position. The country was changing from heavy manufacturing to technology, but still men held the upper hand since women were severely under represented in engineering, computer programming, and to a lesser extent in science.
Then came the recession of 2007-8. Jobs disappeared in all sectors, but most hard hit were those heavy manufacturing jobs that had been the traditional stronghold of men. Factories shut down all over, but especially hard hit were the north central “Rust Belt” states where the factory jobs for the most part required high physicality and were thus predominately held by males. The jobs that had the least losses were things like medical, education, and food service, where women traditionally were in the majority.
As the economy recovered, many companies, instead of reopening shuttered factories, automated the ones that were still open or built new automated ones in locations favorable to their industries and the old jobs disappeared. Automated factories didn’t require physical strength so much as the old ones, so many of the new jobs were now open to women. Seemingly overnight, the role of main breadwinner slid towards the woman.
OK, all this was happening, but how does this marginalize men? Some of the seemingly disconnected facts that I put together to reach this conclusion are:
Most of the jobs that the country has recovered since the recession are of the type that are equally open to women. (The unemployment rate of women is now considerably lower than for men).
The percentage of adults that are married has dropped below 50%. This could be attributed to either that the social need to be married has decreased and unmarried couples are living together, or women don’t feel the need to have a man hanging around. I think the answer is both, but a further statistic that a large percentage of children are living in single parent homes (mostly female headed) seems to support that the latter is the dominant trend.
Most of the traditional things that men used to be very useful for around the home have gone away. Automobiles are so much more reliable these days as well as being almost impossible for an amateur to work on that the traditional role of the home mechanic has all but disappeared. A majority of single women live in apartments so home maintenance (lawn mowing etc) isn’t as much of a factor (not that women can’t do those things, but these have traditionally been male roles).
Women have become much more open and accepting about getting sexual satisfaction by themselves. Many female orientated sex toy stores have opened up, and of course the internet has enabled the purchase of various toys without braving the leering stares present in most XXX stores. Men, we have only ourselves to blame for that. Men traditionally have worried about their own satisfaction and less about hers. Only a minority of us men have bothered to work at learning what excites our partner, much less to go through the foreplay to insure mutual satisfaction.
It still takes a man to make babies at least. That final bastion of need for males has been severely eroded by artificial insemination, and advances in fertility medicine. This was brought home to me by a news story about a sperm donor who was reported to have fathered over 100 children. So if all the women who want babies can get impregnated by less than 1% of us men, and do it without traditional sex, we are in serious trouble. Advances in cloning will remove even that requirement.
So we have lost our economic hold, women have proven that they can be successful heads of families, they can produce children with only minor or perhaps no involvement by men, and they can get sexual satisfaction without us. What are we to do to at least stay relevant in the upcoming future society? Will we be reduced to being soldiers, police, firemen, heavy laborers, sperm donors, or Chippendale dancers, and have a diminishing role in the family?
It isn’t going to happen rapidly, there still is a lot of social inertia, but I think we men better look very hard at how we interact with society in general and especially the opposite sex.
Am I worried? Not at all, I welcome the demise of the male chauvinist pig. I have the knowledge to be more interesting in bed than a Hitachi, as well as having developed some skills in it’s use, as well as other toys of pleasure. I’m also more interesting to be around. I can actually discuss feelings and emotions. Best of all, I am willing to do those household tasks such as cooking and cleaning that are still relevant to modern society. Of course at 71 I’m not likely to be around, or care, when these social changes really get to a critical point.
I’m merely warning the next generation of men that they had better get their act together and make themselves more than a handyman and sperm source, or you may find out that women have found a way to replace you and not have to put up with your unpleasant habits, demands, Saturday/ Monday night Football, and one sided sex.